I get this same message on my Instagram all the time:

“How are you always so happy and positive?”

Answer: I’m not.

You see, even though I share so many ups and so many downs of my life, it is literally impossible for anyone looking from the outside to know what someone’s life is life on social media alone. It’s a snapshot — a single still photo posted each day that depicts such a tiny part of our lives. And yes, I try to be very open (in fact, some people think I’m a little too open) but there are still parts of my life that I don’t share — positives and negatives.

And I really try to stay positive on there as much as possible because positivity shines and negativity drags others down. So if I were to just harp on all of the negatives, I’d be pulling you all down with me. And that, my friends, is why I choose to promote more of the positive on there, despite all of the not-so-happy things that go on in my life. I am just like everyone else.

Positivity Shines

It really does and I find it extremely important to raise Ava in a positive home. Yes, I lose my cool. I am only human. And yes, I lose my cool in from of Ava too, which instantaneously makes me feel so much guilt but you know what? I am trying my best and that’s all I can ask of myself.

So I’ve created a list of four ways to create a positive home for our kids that I strive to work on every day.

1. Praise

This one is surely my strong point. I praise Ava for everything — big and small. At this age, I’m just so proud of everything she does, from saying a new word to saying “thank you” for the millionth time. I praise her and it makes her happy so why not do it all the time?

Let’s praise our kids for the little things and the big wins too. Let’s praise our kids for the things they’re expected to do and also for the unexpected moments. Let’s praise our kids all day long, every single day, so they have a day full of positivity and a full day knowing they did so much right. That’ll surely be the way to raise happy, smiling kids.

2. Make “No” A Swear Word

I actually wrote about this a while back but the use of the word “no” is something I really try to refrain from using. Ava hits me in the face? Instead of saying, “No hitting” I can choose to say, “Remember Ava - We keep our hands to ourselves.” We can get the same point across by using a positive tone and a more positive statement explaining the wrong that was done. And I believe this makes a world of a difference.

If you want to read the full blog post on positive statements and refraining from using the word “no” with kids, click here to read it.

3. Make “Thankful” Part of Your Daily Prayers

I’m going to speak for myself here, but I find myself asking more in prayer than I do thanking God for what He has provided for me and my family. And we pray with Ava every day so learning to pray is something she is soaking in every single day of her life. As Ava grows and really understands what prayer is and what we pray, I want her to join in our prayers too. And as part of that, I want her to show her thankfulness for what she has been given that day. Of course, we can ask for help and we can ask for guidance and strength as those are huge parts of prayer too but showing our kids that being thankful is the other half of praying is huge. It changes their mindset from “I need more” to “I am lucky to have so much.”

If you’d like to read the blog post I wrote on prayer and how to pray, click here to read it.

4. Treat Yourself Kindly

Treat yourself kindly and treat yourself with respect. Don’t speak negatively about your body, about your life, about your circumstances and don’t speak negatively about your spouse or family members or really anyone, for that matter. Our actions speak far louder than our words and that is so true, especially with our kids watching us like hawks every single minute of every single day, just soaking it all in.

And you know what this will do? It will ensure our kids follow in our footsteps and treat themselves and others with kindness. And in the long run, it will sure help ourselves feel a more positive outlook on life while we’re at it.